


Common Censor

by Project0506



Series: Soft Wars [128]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Family, Gen, Humor, Reality TV, Star Wars AU - Soft Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28032321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506
Summary: Fox has been told to tone it down on 'You're Foxed'.  It goes about as well as anyone could expect.
Series: Soft Wars [128]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683775
Comments: 70
Kudos: 394





	Common Censor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lastbattlecry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastbattlecry/gifts).



> For Cry: thanks for the prompt!

Fox is in fine form.

Spectacularly so.

Somewhere, someone watching the raw footage is experiencing deep, relentless regret. Gree would feel sorry for them. Really.

Possibly.

Maybe if low-level toadies for the Production team hadn’t cornered them scant hours before filming, hadn’t laid out the ‘new direction’ they were all ‘agreeing to’ from now on, maybe Gree could rustle up the empathy to care. Maybe if folks had been _polite_ , or even better, _followed form_ and let Gree know when this was being discussed, maybe he’d be more inclined to try to manage his brother.

You know. As his manager. Who should most certainly be informed about any substantive decisions made about content or presentation.

Gree clicks his teeth irritably. Anyone with sense could have told station management that asking Fox to self-censor was asking for trouble. Gree fully intends to be that trouble. He makes a mental note: compile data for ‘loss of income’ lawsuit. He wonders if the Network knows about this ‘minor adjustment’, or if his serving papers will be the nasty little surprise he hopes it is.

Fox’s show, his brand is built around his entirely unvarnished, unfiltered disdain for anything that offends his very particular aesthetic. Fox’s following watches him for it, his merchandise sells for it. Advertisers throw credits at it like hail. He wouldn’t be half as popular as he was if he didn’t blast his opinions ignited by three years of repression.

So no, come to think of it, Gree feels no sympathy whatsoever. They brought this on themselves.

Fox swoops down full fury on an avocado accent cabinet befouling an already-foul off-salmon wall. Here is where he’d release an entire torrent of vitriol, typically. Q’pea would be scurrying to get xir boom in close, make sure xe doesn’t miss a single, gut-deep disgusted growl. But Q’pea is hovering bored under the morosely-wallpapered scalloped arches and only the beat of xir wings say the Toydarian is still awake. Rikarr has camera 4 listlessly panning for set-piece flavor, instead of narrowing in for that off-center shot of the next viral put-down. All because Fox was cornered coming out of his trailer and has not-disagreed to some ‘changes in our direction’. He’s not-disagreed to ‘be more understanding with our guest stars’.

Fox, though, he is the most wonderful sort of contrary. He keeps to the _precise_ letter of the demand.

His glare could strip the offending paint off the what looks like it would be surprisingly-nice Boryan wood cabinet. He turns to the cowering Lasat. “How. Quaint,” he spits, as though the avocado, the salmon and the Lasat all were something that went a squelchy sort of squish when he stepped in it.

The Lasat tremors. Fox stares as though he wants to gag. He reels away. The holocam 1 picks up every moue of utter disgust.

Gree wants to snicker.

“Encouraging,” a terribly-fatalistic set manager hisses. They sound as if they’ve had enough time for self-reflection to curl around to bargaining. “We want to be encouraging!”

“Let’s see the fresher! I’m sure,” Fox simpers with a smile that says he’d devour you if you wouldn’t give him gas, “your taste in fixtures can’t possibly be any more heinous than your color perception!”

The set manager whimpers. Gree snickers. He really shouldn’t.

He really, really, shouldn’t.

Rikarr swivels holocamera 4 to point directly at him. The wookie is as Force Sensitive as Gree’s left boot. Somehow, she _always_ knows just when gold is about to drop.

Kark.

Gree dives after the sudden, suspicious slackness in the kiddie-lead. He misses. The carabiner clinks to the painted ( _painted!_ ) tile.

Luke toddles faster than most Vode can jog. Gree doesn’t know what the hell Torrent is feeding the little biter but it _cannot_ be organic. He makes a second desperate lunge at the kid’s harness and for one blessed second he thinks he’s averted disaster.

Luke’s fingers don't have the dexterity to manipulate delrin clips, not at his age. Gree made a point of confirming that with Barriss before he even bought the kiddie harness. That means the kid is using the Force to unbuckle himself and wriggle free. On one hand Gree is screamingly proud: _look at what his nephew can do_!

On the other hand: kark.

The harness comes away in sorry, unwound bits in Gree’s left hand. Luke belly-slides under his right.

The kid dodges past the few brave, enterprising staff members that try to divert him for all that his tiny pudgy legs shouldn’t be able to manage that. He Jedis over a token attempt to pick him up. He rushes on, his face twisted in desperate concern.

The producer cringes. The set-manager has moved from bargaining to resignation. The light glints evilly off the Trandoshan director’s sunglasses and fangy, gleeful grin. Gree makes a note: print a limited run of merchandise printed with whatever the best soundbyte from this ends up being.

Fox doesn’t break stride when he swings Luke up into his arms and settled on his hip. Q’pea’s wings are a tornado of activity as xe scurries the boom to the room ahead of them. The fresher’s acoustics are good but not great, and xe does not intend to miss this.

Luke does not intend to let Fox continue.

“Ba’Fox!” he hisses, insistent. “Ba’Fox.” He tugs on Fox’s ear so hard it would hurt anyone who didn’t no-holds-bar tussle with his partner as a passtime. “No. Go back. Go back to the thing.”

“We will, believe me kid. We’re not going to let that go. But there’s a whole lot more nontraditional design to inspect.” And judge.

Luke is undeterred. “Ba’Fox!” He tugs, harder, and when that doesn’t get what he wants he flaps open-handed smacks against Fox’s shoulder. “Look!”

Luke points one imperious finger at the cabinet and glares. His cheeks bunch up in rosy fury and his fine blond hair whips about as he swivels his head between Fox’s face and the object of his ire. Every inch of him is a tiny bundle of offense: how dare, his frown seems to chide, Fox leave that hideous thing un-lamblasted?

Q’pea delicately dips the boom just above Luke’s pouty frown. Rikarr hustles in 4 to to catch every flash of Luke’s pouty eyes.

“Ba’Fox,” Luke bites. “It’s _shit_.”

* * *

Viral, immediately.

_Don’t answer your comm_ , Gree messages Ponds.

_Why?_

A moment.

_Oh_.

A moment after that:

_Rex’ika inbound. ETA 2 hours_.

Plenty of time, Gree thinks as he shoves his least favorite brother and poor unfortunate nephew into his corvette star hopper. Nearest hyperspace entrance is only 45 minutes away, they can be three nodes gone before Rex lands. He has coordinates punched in nearly before Fox has argued Luke into leaving his shipseat straps alone.

Autopilot engages, they lift off. Gree meets Fox’s eyes in the viewport reflection.

“You saw that.”

Gree tips his head, lets the littlest edges of a grin show. “I saw it.”

“My kid,” Fox hums with predatory satisfaction, “is a fucking genius.”

“Fuck!” Luke agrees, tiny fists thrown up in glee. Fox cackles.

“You are a moral stain on society,” Gree laments, though only lightly.

“Shut your holster and find me a mechanical lock. Bet my kid can fucking Jedi it open before we land.”

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops, rated for Fox's potty mouth!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Tactical Planning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28138647) by [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506)




End file.
